i need to stop...

...eating fast food at night. for the past two nights, i have made mike take me to drive through joints for some junk past nine o'clock. it is not good for me at all. but taco bell bean burritos taste so good going down! and nothing beats a baked potato and chicken nuggets with bbq sauce from wendy's after a soak in the spa.

i think i need to get my eating habits in check. my problem is this new running thing. i need to eat more, and i have not found that perfect balance for me yet. i am working on it, kinda. i feel lucky that my metabolism is still pretty high. i can maintain even if i eat wendy's and taco bell two nights in a row. but i need to stop that bad habit. i am almost thirty, my metabolism won't be able to bail me out forever! i can totally see why people can just eat that all the time. it is so easy to satisfy your hunger by ordering a #9 value meal on any corner fast food place down the street. i need to work harder, i know.

i have come to the realization that i am boring. i don't really have any hobbies of my own. well, you can sort of count running and working out. but i don't really consider this a hobby; i think of it more as a necessary lifestyle choice. i like to read, go to the movies, meet with friends for coffee. but i guess i don't think of those things as hobbies either; i tend to think of hobbies as crafty type things, like painting, knitting, photography, scrapbooking, etc. i have tried many things, but i don't feel super passionate about anything. i mean, i have knitted a scarf for my friend sunny. it only took me a year to make it. i started it at christmas, and finally finished it in time to give it to her as a gift the next christmas. somehow, i feel like i am lacking real enthusiasm for one thing or another. i feel like i am living to work. i suppose right now, i am. just trying to work a lot so we can get outta town for a while.

also, right now, i am little bit fed up with things. i am irritated that i am always the one that has to change my plans and adapt for someone else. i make plans, and then have to change them b/c other things just come up. and usually, i don't mind shifting things to make life easier for others. for some reason, i am just feeling a little overwhelmed by having to deal with my own crap, as well as everyone else's. it is exhausting to carry around everyone's schedule on top of my own. i already have enough to deal with...hello, working 3 jobs, trying to move out of the city, then the country, studying to get my licensure in nz, being a newlywed?!?